The stress of everyday life was getting to my brother Jake. With it came the cycle of anger, emotional abuse and depression. Growing up in small community, Jake learned the meaning of emotional abuse very early on as he watched our parents fight over money, the house, and us. The psychological abuse suffered as a young child and teen left Jake with serious emotional baggage. He connected stress with aggression and made a vow that he would never become “that angry man.” But eventually, he did.

Cara, Jake’s wife was his college sweetheart. They lived in the suburbs with their two adorable children. Jake enjoyed working in the city, although the 90-minute commute was regularly very stressful. Often times, alone in the car, Jake would go over the day’s ups and downs, and then react furiously to inconsiderate drivers while agonizing over being late for dinner. Slowly, he built a silent rage. Because he was unaware of the anger symptoms, Jake was unable to deal with his own anger issues. Often times he felt helpless to change his emotional gridlock.

Jake’s pent up rage would be unexpectedly released when confronted by his concerned wife, demanding job, and curious kids. He had no answers, only rage at what he saw as his own inadequacies. He had heard co-workers talk about abusive relationships, but did not recognize the signals in his own life. Cara watched as Jake’s life spiraled out of control, fueled by old anger he was unable to manage.

Unable to cope with his anger, he would frequently explode for no reason, break things and slam doors, and isolate himself from his family afterwards. Jake’s fury frightened Cara and she was worried for their children. She even called the domestic abuse hotline for some support. Not sure of how to stop the emotional abuse, Cara came to see me. She was desperate, afraid, on the brink of a breakdown. Caught up in a very different relationship than the one she needed, Cara didn’t know what to do or where to turn.

Cara described how Jake would walk in the door after work already in an angry mood. How he would then scream at her for a cold dinner while smashing the dishes Cara had left for him on the table. The cursing and yelling had Cara hiding in the bathroom to the sound of Jake slamming doors and breaking things. I sadly recognized the signs of the abuse triggered by these angry outbursts. Jake had told me on several occasions how he hated the long commute, that he was growing progressively unhappy at his workplace and that financial issues were taking their toll on his relationships. But to react so violently, to shout uncontrollably at his spouse, to smack his son for trying to protect his mother, the son he loved so much, was painful to hear… this is not the brother I know!

Perhaps you can spot the angry person by looking at the extreme unhappiness he or she causes in the people related to them…In Cara’s case, she was withdrawing in isolation from friends and family, not willing to share the details of the abuse, afraid of a vicious reaction from Jake. Their children were having nightmares and becoming more and more frightened and defensive.

The emotional abuse was becoming more than Cara could bear. Although she did not want to live in a bad marriage, she didn’t know what to do to manage or control Jake’s anger Cara was getting ready to leave him, developing some plans and alternatives, and even in the depth of the sadness, she was clear on stopping the emotional abuse unleashed on her.

It was time to help Cara understand why, to offer her the advice and support she deserved. I revealed the stories of our aggressive childhood, our parent’s cycles of verbal abuse, and how Jake could not cope, how he would breakdown, and while upset, throw tantrums and even smash his toys! The signs of emotional and mental abuse were obvious to me. I then told Cara of my own secret dance with the anger devil. I confessed that after years of vowing not to become “that angry man,” I found myself always arguing with my wife about unimportant issues. I was hostile and unable to recognize that I was abusing my wife!

I frequently embarrassed my whole family, like when I verbally assaulted my wife in the middle of the mall while Christmas shopping. I was angry and emotionally out of control.

I made excuses like, “It’s not me, it’s my job, or my car -- or worse yet -- it was them – my poor wife and kids!” I laid blame on everyone else, yet I was the emotionally abusive husband… Then, it came the day that I was forced to face the fact that this abusive relationship had gotten out of control; that my wife was going to leave me. I was given an ultimatum – get help or get out.

Not knowing where to go to learn how to control or manage my angry temper, I searched the Internet for help. There I discovered the eBook "The Tao of Anger: Controlling Your Anger Explosions"… I was frantic for help. After reading this insightful book, I enrolled in anger management classes. There was no more denying it…I had become a problem, and not a pillar of support for my family!

This wonderful book helped me recognize the cues that would start my heart racing towards anger outbursts and showed me how to curb them. I learned to control and let go of my angry feelings. My marriage was worth it and the hard work I faced in the anger reduction group was worth it, too. The anger management techniques and skills this ebook taught me would benefit Jake, I was sure of it. When I promised Cara I would speak with my brother, she wept tears of relief. It was the beginning of a needed process of healing emotional abuse.

Jake seemed suspicious when I called and asked him to meet me for coffee the next week. I could sense the stress in his voice when he told me he had no time to talk. I used an anger management technique I learned in this ebook…and Jake agreed to meet me. For awhile we talked about football, our families, and our jobs. Then he confided in me about the isolation he felt from his wife and co-workers, and how the long commute home put him in a foul mood before stepping in the door. I recognized the signs of frustration that would soon lead to anger. It was time for him to learn how to let the anger go, how to manage with it, and how to heal the hurt of the emotional abuse his family suffered. I shared my own frustrations and revealed my own angry past. Jake was surprised to learn I had experienced the same cycle of frustration, anger and abuse. He seemed relieved to discover that he was not alone.

I went on to tell him about this great eBook I found online, and how it taught me simple steps to re-build trust and repair past emotional damage. I described how this ebook would help him understand the negative effects of anger attacks. I explained how the simple anger management strategies I learned there would put him back in charge of his emotions. I was encouraged when I saw that Jake took this advice to heart. He was recognizing the emotional abuse and did not want to be “that angry man” any longer.

With support from his family and friends, I am happy to report that Jake is following the suggestions and learning how to heal and stop the emotional abuse. He is more at peace. His relationships at home and work, his daily commute, and his own sense of self-worth are all on the mend.

Any man is capable of recognizing the cues to anger, deactivating the triggers, and also capable of taming the anger within. It is possible to heal emotional abuse, overcome anger attacks, and live a happy domestic life. It happened for me…and because we truly are our brother’s keeper, it happened for Jake.

Joel Barron

Radford, VA

Pent Up Frustration & Actual Anger Can Both Destroy You and Your Relationship!

• And guess what? When you let this accumulation of angry, resentful feelings rule your day, then you have dire consequences!
  
  
• It is this pent up frustration and anger that is the real underlying cause of the vast majority of heart attacks in the world today;
  
  
• It is also this pent up frustration and anger that is the real underlying cause of many cases of domestic violence today;
  
  
• It is also this pent up frustration and anger that is the real underlying cause of many cases of interpersonal abuse today;
  
• And the list of pent up anger consequences just goes on and on.

"I stumbled across your website and confess it has been a great blessing to me for the last two days. After reading through your well-written and straight-to-the-point articles, I feel I am starting to find some meaning in my life again. Much of what you say requires that I honestly examine myself, and that is exactly what I am doing now. I liked the part where you don't lay a lot of guilt on me...I have enough of it already. Be blessed. "
-- Amos K.

A personal note from Neil Warner:

Welcome!

I’m so glad that you are here….having been through hell to recover the love of my life, I really understand how do you feel now…at serious risk of losing what you value most.

It’s very difficult to accept that the situation has gotten into this low level of trust and intimacy, but there is no use for denial here…things are very bad with your spouse now.

And why is this? Because you’d never planned to end up being the bad person, the hated villain of the movie, right? You are a typical guy, with a notion that he has his right to a temper tantrum here and there, when the situation needs some fast relief of stress, but you meant no damage, it was only venting, right? How could it be seen as intentional damage, with you ending up being seen as a rude, inconsiderate and mean guy who only wants to control?…

Well, let’s say that there is a toxic combination of male behaviors that are kind of normal in some environments, but when used in the wrong one they brought you a lot of grief. And when other behaviors missing from your repertoire, like the ability to ask for forgiveness to people you accidentally hurt, are needed, it doesn’t help you at all…

Take heart, there is a lot you can do to be back in the fold again, when you are ready!...I have done a lot of research for this manual, and put together the easier ways of incorporating anger management skills in your daily life. You will be sending a new and kinder message to the people who love you and to those who are or were your friends before anger took away their trust in you.

Even when some bridge-building needs to be done, to repair past damage in your personal relationships, you can find how to apologize easily to your loved ones right here….

The techniques shared in this ebook will finally put you in control of your anger attacks and back in charge of your life FAST! And you'll feel more at peace in every area of your life.

All of a sudden, people (even complete strangers) are going to find you very easy and attractive to be around.

And do you know what the really funny thing is? When you perform your anger management techniques, all your "pent up negative feelings" against lots of people who have irritated you in the past, now are gone….People are people and you will not be stuck doing mental battles with them rehearsing real or imaginary offenses.

I've seen it happen many times. You will not care again for other people’s negative reactions against you, because there will be none! When you are looking at past enemies with a positive attitude, you will discover that they will show respect and appreciation to you!

I'm encouraged by your decision to change and grow in the improvement of your relationship....

Congratulations for facing this personal challenge and for looking for the way to transform your anger into love and appreciation!

Neil Warner,

Writer and Editor

Creative Conflict Resolutions

That's right! Take your time to use and examine my crucial information, and techniques. That's 60 days to put these valuable strategies to work on your Relationship.

Try the techniques yourself. Try as many of the tips as you can. Once you have used these strategies on your own anger management plan, I'm confident that you'll NEVER want to send it back!

But, if you aren't satisfied for any reason, or it doesn't live up to your expectations, just send me an email and your payment will be refunded. Right up to the final day of this 60 days guarantee. No questions, No hassle