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We all know that your loved ones are tiptoeing around you, scared of your anger attacks and covering up their own comments about you, and the shared situation they live with you, because they are afraid.
Ironically, you also have things to say to them, about their own behaviors….that you don’t express but in a bout of rage. How can you think that they will change and deliver what you want? They only can see your rage, not the suggestions that you could provide in a more calm conversation….
Perhaps learning how to assert yourself is the solution.
Assertion is the art of saying what you need or believe in a way that other people can hear you clearly. This ability is essential for effective problem-solving.
The alternatives to assertion are submission (letting other’s needs come before yours, which will happen if you accept the cold shoulder treatment for longer time) and aggression – forcing your needs on another person without their agreement. Both are lose-lose options.
Perhaps you have been doing the aggressive position, where others have to do as you want? and if not, they risk an anger attack? This is not going to help you sustain good relationships along time; will enhance your passive aggression and you will find yourself lonely again.
Ready to try assertion skills? You can use them to control your anger.
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